old photos

im not sure why tonight feels especially sorrow and sad.

how I wish I could share this feeling with someone. for the fact I don’t trust anyone and it’s really hard to gain a trust from someone.

I have to say I do miss her. shes has really made a big impacted in my life. she turned me into a demon once I found she had done smth wrong against me.

the fact she hide the truth from me and caused me to lost the basic trust I have for her. I can’t find the reason how should I forgive her. even I do forgive, I can’t forget such thing have happened before. ezann called me a mcp/msp. and she said obviously I am. that affected me quite a lot.

nevertheless, looking the past photos we took together. I realised shes a pretty lady. indeed I have fallen deep for her. i feel really sorry towards myself. I realised compared to v and r, I am crazily in love with r. shes a addictive lover 🙂

im not sure why I told her that I gave half the effort to love her. but actually I given my everything to her. my time my effort my love. man. im getting emotional here.

seeing the Taiwan photo stored in my phone was like sugar rush. all those love I used to have for her. all those dinner we went together. little excursion that we enjoyed. sigh. indeed. she really do love me and gave me more that her relationship.  but I didnt appreciate it or see this till I broke up with her and review r and I photo one by one.

failure in twice relationship made me feel a little lost of faith in love. first one was v, because she left Canada our relationship got bland and slowly we drifted apart.

next was r, I ddidnt dare to show the world I have her as girlfriend. and im scared of this and that. but deep inside I have love her like madly.

im not sure how am I gonna love the next one. im not sure how am I gonna behave towards her. what kind of her im looking for her. is It what will come it will come.

and of course I always forget the other side of my coin. what have to go it must go.

I really wish both of them will be well and strong ; (